What Would You Do?

The thing I wanted most my entire life was to be a mom. In seventh grade I flirted with the idea of being an architect and in high school I thought of being an obstetrician or a pediatrician. I was admitted to University as a Biological Sciences Major but from the beginning knew that career wouldn't work with my future life as a stay-at-home mom to eight children. I don't have eight children, I have two... for now. I changed my major to Psychology thinking it would better prepare me to be a full-time mom.

After graduation I worked as a legal and medical interpreter but to me it was just a transition job, nothing permanent, just something to hold me over until my kids were born. While I worked I took Child Development classes to further ready myself to be a great mom and learned not only how children develop, but also how children learn -- in preparation for homeschooling my six children. Of course I wanted to homeschool them!

My daughter was born in 2007 and almost a year later my son in 2008. It was a great start to my brood of six and the "homeschooling" began right away. My husband and I took a sign language class and he forgot all of it in about three seconds, but I used it with my children every day. I set up a little schedule  and did activities preschools do; circle time, music time, free play, reading, art time, and so on.

When my friends started talking about preschool I announced my plan to homeschool with confidence and despite some horrified looks, smiled with excitement.

Then last year, about a week after my daughter's third birthday she announced "I want to go to school. By my self. Without you or my brother... and I'm going to go in the school bus." Period, end of story, there wasn't a single question mark in there. Something strange and unfamiliar happened to me then, I was speechless. Once I was able to pick my jaw off the floor I smiled and said "Oh, do you want to play school right now?" She looked at me with her beautiful almond eyes, held my gaze for a few seconds and turned around to play. Without a single word.

Every day for the next three months she restated her plans, "I'm going to go to school without you and without my brother and I'm going to go in the yellow school bus." She said it so often and with such confidence I wondered if she had snuck out at night to watch my DVRd Oprah show about vision boards. At first I laughed it off and told my husband it wasn't happening. She was too little. What was the point of going to preschool when she had me at home all day, teaching her stuff? What if something happened to her? Then I started to get a little annoyed about her messing up my plans, and that's when I noticed it had become a power struggle and I realized that in trying to do what I thought was best for her I could actually be stifling her independence and sense of self. She clearly wanted some space from her little brother and me.

So I signed her up for preschool and a week later as we prepared for her first day I secretly cried all day long. I cried and cried and cried but without her seeing me so as not to frighten her or make her feel bad for her desire to be more independent. I had let go of the plan to skip preschool and realized what I thought was best maybe wasn't and I had to trust her in the process of parenting too. But I was not ready to let her go -- it was too soon! But with the support and presence of my husband, mom, and sister, I took her little hand and walked her into her first classroom and after a brief kiss she was off.

Camila loves preschool and twice a week my son, who never lacks a craving for my attention, gets me all to himself. I get to experience the light feeling of having only one child to carry, play with and entertain. And I've come to love that special one-on-one time with my son so much I'd like to experience it with my daughter too...

So my son just turned three and I started talking to him about going to school. Six months ago he wanted to go, said he was ready. Now, nothing. I remind him of all the toys in his sister's class and mention all the projects she brought home. I ask Camila to share with him how fun it is to play with a bunch of friends in the playground and to sing with the teachers. We talk about how nice the teachers are and how well they take care of all the kids... but of course, he doesn't want to go to school. "I don't want to go to school... I want to go to school with you mommy." Of course.

Mateo just started swimming without me and does great with the teachers. He has a fun time and is all smiles during class. So my plan was to send Camila to school Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and to send Mateo Tuesdays and Thursdays. That way they each get special time with me -- a rarity for siblings 11 months apart.

What would you do, would you, in the interest of giving his sister some personal attention, send him to preschool despite his opposition to going?