The Weight of the World

Last night I heard one of the most profound things I've heard since I became a mom almost five years ago. It was the last evening of my 10-week parenting class and it was my instructor, Chris Glover, who spoke the words that have changed the way I see my role and job as a parent; "When you are raising your children you are also raising your grandchildren and great grandchildren." Take that in for a minute. Let the weight of that fall on your shoulders. 


The gravity and the truth of that statement hit me hard and almost took my breath away. Because it is true, isn't it? There is no manual on how to raise children, the only training we get is from our parents so we tend to raise our children the way our parents raised us. That's how traditions and customs are passed down from generation to generation. That's also how parenting... mistakes are passed on. 

We love our children with all our might; kiss them, hug them, sing and read to them, tell them how proud of them we are. We teach them the values our parents taught us, teach them the importance of education, hard work. Just like our parents did with us. We also lose our patience, forget they're just children, scream, and sometimes spank. Just like our parents did. And if we fail to correct those mistakes, those things will be passed down to future generations just like a dance, a story, a celebration. 

Now I realize that I am not just raising my children. I am raising their children as well. What I do now when my daughter cries for no reason, when my son disobeys me time and again, how I respond to their needs and demands, will have repercussions on generations to come. That's a heavy load to bear, I know, but having seen the truth I can't pretend to be blind to it. The weight of the future and the world is on our shoulders, each of us as parents. 

My husband Carlos, a loving daddy and husband. 

Thumb Guard Failure

I blogged about Camila's life-long thumb-sucking habit last November. After trying several things to get her to stop sucking her thumb we had finally reached the point of desperation. We bought the ThumbGuard and hoped it was $75 well spent.

The first night we opened it we let Camila look at it, examine it, try it out and play with it a little bit. We gave her the option of wearing it that night or the following night. Not surprisingly, she opted to wait a day. But the following night she let us put it on and kept it on all night. It went like that for about five nights. We thought we were on our way, the seventy-five dollar investment had saved us thousands of dollars in orthodontist bills years from now!

Then she woke up without it. She had squirmed her thin little hand and fingers out of the "guard". That night we made it a little tighter but the following morning she had a mark all around her delicate hand, so we loosened it again and explained to her that she should leave it on. She didn't laugh in our faces at that very moment, but I know she laughed because the next morning she woke with with a huge grin on her face and no thumb guard. In the meantime, she had started sucking her thumb all day long. Our efforts to stop her thumb-sucking had again driven her to suck it even more!

Talking about it didn't work, the evil-tasting Mavala Stop didn't work and the ThumbGuard didn't work. We've lost. Parents zero, Camila 1 and as I look into the future I push this image away:

Yes, the very troubled Amy Winehouse was a thumb-sucker.

So what does a mom do when the child wins? She pretends the ball is still in her court; "Camila, you know what I realized? I noticed you really don't like this thumb guard and it's okay if you don't want to wear it anymore... and you know what? I know you're a strong girl and when you're ready you'll stop sucking your thumb. I know when you choose to stop you'll be able to do it all on your own!" She looked at me with wide-open eyes. She wasn't on to me. "Okay!" She kissed me, ran to the couch and sat down, thumb firmly in her mouth.

It's been a month and the thumb-sucking has not ceased. Nor do I think it will. I'm considering a new strategy -- encouraging her to suck her thumb. Maybe even enforcing it at all times...

So I'm open to suggestions, ideas, proven methods. I just don't want her picture to end up on this adult thumb-sucking web site: http://www.thumbsuckingadults.com/mytsMainPhotoIndex.htm. Seriously, I'm begging.

Image credits: https://www.google.com/search?q=girl+sucking+thumb&hl=en&prmd=imvns&source=lnms&tbm=isch&ei=63QxT-SWEtPYiQKr87mwAw&sa=X&oi=mode_link&ct=mode&cd=2&ved=0CBcQ_AUoAQ&biw=1066&bih=529