This Holiday Season Empower You Children To Say No

Holidays are a time when we see a lot of family and friends -- people who are happy to see our beautiful, growing children. People who are excited to meet them for the first time and people who are thrilled to see the smallest family members again. The scene is typical; outstretched arms, little cheeks being pinched, lots of requests for kisses, bellies rubbed and tickled... it's the perfect time to teach our children about setting boundaries with their bodies, a to begin an inoculation of sorts against molestation. 

Yes, the holidays are perfect time for a child to practice saying "no." As in "No, I don't want to kiss her... No, I don't want to sit on his lap... No, I don't want to be tickled anymore." We all want to protect our children from being molested. If you are like me, you talk to your children about not letting people touch their private parts and not touching people's genitals. I also role-play with my children, but nothing prepares us for life better than life itself. Having the opportunity to stand before an adult or another child and say "no" is a great experience for children. Most importantly, being respected by adults, rather than ignored and forced to give kisses, hugs, or be passed from lap to lap, teaches a child that his/her boundaries must be respected. It empowers them and builds a trusting relationship between a parent and child where the child knows mom and dad will back them up, support them and stand by them even when their "no" is embarrassing or uncomfortable for others. 

I can tell you from personal experience that this approach will not make you popular. I've heard it all "You should teach them to be polite... You let them get away with being rude... I can't believe they won't give me just one kiss!" When these comments come as I pull my child away from an overpowering (though loving) family member, I pretend I'm made of Teflon and just let the words slide right off. My children are not brats, they just know they can say no to anyone, any time, and that my husband and I will always support them and stand up for them. 

It surprises me how many contradicting messages we send children in our society. We tell them not to let anyone touch areas covered by clothes, but then we do exactly that; a gymnastics teacher putting a stamp on a child's belly, a swim coach tickling a tummy or an acquaintance lifting a child onto their shoulders. As parents it's important that we stay on top of things and not let down our guard. When I say "No, please don't put a stamp on her belly... Please don't tickle his stomach," people are taken aback and I get the "wow, what-a-crazy-lady" look. But I know I'm empowering my children, teaching them to say no and protect themselves. 

So this holiday season don't send your children mixed messages. Don't force them to kiss anyone, hug anyone, sit on any one's lap. Give your children the best Christmas gift you can give them -- the first of many vaccines against being sexual abuse. Let them say no. 

 

Born To Be Wild

My husband and I recently took our children, Camila (4) and Mateo (3), to see their first IMAX movie, Born To Be Wild. We sat at the very top so we wouldn't injure our necks looking up and that decision resulted in one of the most adorable questions from my son once the movie began; "Mommy, are we inside the movie?" For the remainder of the film he and his sister asked, "Where are we going now?", every time there was a scenery transition. These questions from my children encompass their innocence, vulnerability and ability to just believe and be in the present -- I love any experience that reminds me that I have much to learn from my kids.

Born To Be Wild is the story of two women, one in Africa and the other in Indonesia, who have dedicated their lives to saving orphaned elephants and orphaned orangutans respectively. We meet the teams of people who support their work by actually living with these animals and caring for them twenty-four hours a day.

You know how they often use the word heartwarming to describe a film and it can mean little or nothing at times? Well, this movie truly is heartwarming. I was moved and inspired by the humanity shown to these animals and by how very similar their needs are to ours. I am not one to equate humans with animals, but this movie really captures why every being should be respected and valued. Though we are different from them, our needs and our journeys are quite similar. My children even self-identified with the orangutans; Camila said she was the one who ate the soap while bathing, and Mateo said he was the little one sitting in a woven basket.

The film is narrated by Morgan Freeman and the IMAX screen truly swallows you into the amazing jungles of Indonesia and the unforgiving African terrain. My children were mesmerized the entire forty minutes and have not stopped talking about it. I was truly astonished by the dedication and love demonstrated by the people who rescue, rehabilitate and prepare these animals to return to the wild with a greater chance of survival. And just like we can learn from small children, we can learn from these elephants and orangutans how to relate, love and empathize with each other.

Amazing, inspiring and moving. A must-see for the whole family!


Official movie site: http://www.imax.com/borntobewild/

Arthur Christmas - Movie Review

One of my favorite family traditions is going to the movies the day after Thanksgiving. This year I watched Arthur Christmas with my mom, my sister, my husband and my children, Camila (4) and Mateo (3).

I must say, when I saw the previews I didn't have the slightest interest in the film. We went to see it because the show time worked with the kids' schedule. To my surprise, I loved it from beginning to end. Actually, the beginning was my favorite part -- I found it to be creative and exciting, reminding me a lot of movies like Mission Impossible.

The story is realistic... I know what you're thinking, "It's about Santa Claus and elves Karla!" But I allowed myself to be immersed in the movie and chose to believe in Santa Claus for the duration of the film. The family dynamic was credible and the characters were developed enough for us to be cheering for certain ones. Plus, after watching how Santa and the elves deliver all those gifts at the beginning, it really all makes sense!

The theater was packed with adults and children of all ages. Throughout the movie there was a lot of laughter coming from the adults and the movie was dynamic enough to keep the children entertained. (There wasn't a bunch of walk-outs like I saw during Cars 2). I'm really good at figuring out the mystery or the punch line in a movie, but this one kept me guessing till the end and almost made me cry. Almost.

I definitely recommend this movie -- it's one both you and your children will enjoy!

Official movie site link: http://www.arthurchristmas.com/